Guest Post by Millie Jones
As the years go on, you might realize that one of your parents has vastly different care needs than the other. For adult children of aging parents, this might mean stepping in to help your parent move into a nursing home while your other parent downsizes. The following tips demonstrate how to balance your parents’ needs as you sort out their living situations.
- Consider Selling the Family Home
If one of your parents needs nursing home care, and the other is open to moving somewhere new in order to downsize, it’s probably the right time to sell the family home. Your parents may be able to use the money from this sale to cover the costs of a nursing home. To navigate this process, you’ll need to start by accurately calculating your parents’ assets. By subtracting the amount currently owed on their mortgage from the market value of their home, you’ll be able to determine their home equity.
- Other Payment Methods
What if the profits from your parents’ home sale won’t fully account for the costs of a nursing home? You and your parents will need to consider other options. According to Paying for Senior Care, if paying out of pocket isn’t an option, some seniors use Medicaid, veteran’s benefits, or long-term care insurance instead. Your parents might need guidance when it comes to funding nursing home expenses. You may want to gift them a session or two with a financial advisor who can review their portfolio and help them make the right decision.
- Choose the Right Nursing Home
Take your time while reviewing different nursing homes in your area. After all, you need to make sure that your parent will be getting the best care possible. Ideally, you’ll want to choose somewhere local so that their spouse can visit regularly. You will have to tour any potential nursing homes in person, ask for their certifying agency reports, and talk to their staff about how they develop care plans. Also review objective state ratings if available.
- Downsizing Options
You’ve helped one of your parents find a comfortable nursing home where they can get the care they need - but where should your other parent live? It’s a good idea to explore their downsizing options early on so that they have plenty of time to weigh their potential choices. Check out the Senior Homes “downsizing guide” to learn more about things to consider as your parent moves into a smaller home or a retirement community. If you have a good relationship, perhaps welcoming your parent to live with you is another possibility.
- Be Patient
If you’re supporting your parents throughout this process, you might feel overwhelmed and exhausted at times. This is especially true if you’re stepping into a part-time caregiver role until you find the right nursing home for your parent. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from other family members. And remember, it’s okay to feel frustrated occasionally, especially if you’re worried about your parents’ health. Make some time for yourself when possible; simply taking a half-hour to read or do gentle yoga when you’re stressed can help you release these emotions.
When one parent needs to move into a nursing home while the other is healthy enough to live independently, it can put a strain on your family. By carefully going over all of your parents’ options for accommodations, you can ensure they will both be comfortable. With the suggestions provided, you can help your parents make the right choices for their safety and wellbeing.
Millie Jones is excited to share SeniorWellness with other older adults to help them embrace wellness and live life to the fullest. Ms. Jones enjoys doting on her grandchildren, writing and photography.